In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I talk about how it’s natural that couples adjust how they make their lives work together through different seasons of life. Some of this happens weekly as you check in with each other. Sometimes it happens when one spouse sees a need for an adjustment and brings it up. For instance, when my mom moved up here, Jeannie pointed out that I was worn out because I was still living out my normal schedule as if nothing had changed. In reality, everything had changed, so we had to figure out how to make adjustments accordingly. It’s all about having the courage and the confidence to talk with your spouse and work together to solve these challenges.
In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I discuss the reality that marriage is never 50/50. A great marriage is always the husband giving 100% and the wife giving 100%. The secret that I’lll tell you is, you always have to come up with 200%. That means sometimes a season in marriage requires one spouse to give 140% because the other spouse can only give 60%. There are different seasons, and it’s all about the ebb and flow of those seasons in a marriage. The danger of assuming marriage is only 50/50 is making marriage more of a contract than a covenant. Often people enter marriage with an attitude that says, “I’ll do my part as long as the other person does their part.” But that’s not what marriage is. Marriage vows basically say, “I want to be here in this marriage come hell or high water.” No matter what. When you go into marriage with that kind of reckless abandon, you’ll experience a joy and adventure greater than you could ever imagine.
On today’s episode of Creating Marriages that Last, I share some thoughts on what your spouse needs to hear from you every day. A wife needs to hear that her husband loves her and why. A husband needs to hear his wife respects him and the reason why. That’s the difference between a husband and wife. Each is created to need and want a different kind of affirmation within the sanctuary of marriage. One thing your spouse never needs to hear is sarcasm. Remember, your marriage is a safe place and your words can wound, even when said in a way that you consider a joke. Choose to be intentional in how you speak to your spouse. Look for ways to lift one another up, instead of tearing each other down.
In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I share with my co-host Amy-Jo Girardier about the myth of finding balance between work and life. Unlike eastern philosophy, upon which the idea of “balance” is based, the biblical understanding of life is much more linear. The picture of life as a journey is much more accurate. At different times in our lives, we must make decisions about what is most appropriate to focus our time and energy on based on our priorities at the time. For me, the most important relationship in my life is with Christ, so I protect the time I need to focus on growing in my relationship with Him. If Jeannie or my sons need me when I’m in a meeting or with a group of people, they get my attention first, before anyone or anything else. It’s not that we always say, “No” to the other things in our lives that call for our attention. We just learn to say, “Not now” and instead focus first on those things we consider most important in our lives.