Practice Makes Perfect

Most of us get up in the morning, look at our calendar and say, “I got this. I can handle this kind of day. This day doesn’t have any pressure.” And so you don’t spend as much time in prayer. You don’t spend as much time in the study of the Word.

And the storm comes unexpectedly. You never expect the phone call to come on Tuesday, do you? And all of a sudden your day changes. All of a sudden what you thought was routine isn’t routine. The winds pick up. Your little boat starts taking on water, and the first thing you want to know is, “Where’s Jesus? I can’t find Him when I need Him.” It’s because you’re out of practice.

You do those things in practice so they become so habitual, so habit, that you will do them without thinking. Remember, Jesus prepared in prayer. You and I have that same opportunity to spend the time we need to in prayer to be ready for when those moments come. You’re in one of three places in your life. You’re either in the storm, just out of the storm, or about to go into one.

That’s the three places where all of us live. And the moments when it is quiet, the moments when it is easy or routine—those are the moments we have to prepare. Those are the moments we have to practice—to practice the presence, to practice our listening, to practice our obedience—so that when the storm comes, we’re ready.

Marriage Takes 200%

If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. “Well you know, a good marriage is a 50-50 deal…”

Really? Think about that statement. Are we saying that a husband gives half and a wife gives half and that makes a good marriage?

Here’s a little secret that no one but me will tell you: No marriage is 50-50. Every marriage is 100-100. That is, the husband has to give all that he has to the marriage, and the wife has to give all that she has to the marriage. Both have to be “all in” or the marriage will gradually unravel in suspicion and doubt.

Now, here’s the other little secret no one but me will tell you. You always have to come up with 200%. That means sometimes you have to give more than your 100. There are times in our lives when life just becomes too hard, overwhelming, and even debilitating. During that time, you may only be able to give 60% to the marriage.That means your spouse will have to come up with the other 140%.

When Chris and Craig were little, Jeannie was a great mother, but twin boys took all of her time and energy. There wasn’t a whole lot left over for me. That meant whatever Jeannie couldn’t bring to the marriage, I had to carry. She couldn’t give any more. She didn’t have it. So, I had to give more.

In the same way, when I was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, I was a lousy husband. I wasn’t even a good patient. Jeannie carried our marriage. Every day, you have to come up with 200%.

In the ups and downs of life, everyone gets a turn. Sometimes, your spouse just doesn’t have it to give. You have to make up what’s lacking. At other times, your spouse will have to bring extra to the relationship. But no matter what, every day you have to come up with 200%. Anything less than that, and you’ll be coming up short.

Great marriages have never been 50-50. They’ve always been total commitments of husbands and wives who, every day, find a way to come up with 200%

Do the Little Things

Now that I’ve been doing what I do for as long as I have, people want to know about things that have surprised me. Well, that’s a hard one because I’m surprised every day by something. Every day I see something I never thought I would see. I’ve seen a human being walk on the moon and then, I watched as we got bored with going to the moon. Think about that. People got bored hearing about people going to the moon. The evening news doesn’t even cover it anymore.

But what has surprised me the most is how big of an impact little things make. Little things left unattended can add up to a big pile of trouble.

Take marriage for instance. Most marriages don’t fail because of an affair or some drastic, unforgiveable act. Most of the time love is frozen under layers and layers of anger that has built up over the years as small things have not been addressed.

A “thank you” goes unspoken, and a wife feels taken for granted.

An “I’m sorry” isn’t said, and a husband feels ignored.

None of these issues are insurmountable or even difficult to overcome in and of themselves. But, when thrown into a pile with all of the other unresolved issues, you have a big pile of pain before you know it. You can deal with this pile one incident at a time. It’s possible, but it takes a long time.

The other way is to recognize the power of each moment, no matter how small, and use each moment as an opportunity to bring your marriage closer together. Small kindnesses and gentle words are little knots that hold the whole thing together. Just like small things can add up to big problems, little acts of love add up to a very rich and satisfying marriage.

The truth is, it works both ways. Little things add up, and we get to choose whether they add up to something beautiful or painful.

How to Help Your Friends Through Hard Times

All of us need safe places.

We need trusted relationships where we can lay out our stuff without fear of being condemned or judged. We need friends who can listen to our mistakes and failures and hold them in confidence.

Over and over, we try to make the point that the church isn’t a building, but the people. This means the sanctuary isn’t SOME PLACE—it’s SOMEBODY.

As Christ-followers, we’re the safe place for our friends, a sanctuary where those who seek God can find Him.

Jesus doesn’t live in a building, but in the lives of His disciples. As our hearts meet the hearts of our friends, they in turn meet the heart of Jesus.