Trusting Me to Do the Best I Can

One of the hardest things about dealing with a parent who has Alzheimer’s is there’s never a clear-cut answer on what to do next. Even if you know “what” to do, knowing “when” to do it is just as baffling. As a caregiver, you’re constantly dealing with “on one hand” and “then, on the other hand.”

Do you need to take away the car keys? Well, on one hand…

Do you need to take over the finances? Well, on one hand…

Do you need to increase her meds? Her level of care? Well, on one hand…

Because you’re never sure, you’re always running these questions around in your brain trying to make sure you’re doing the right thing. Caring for your patient is hard, but one of the things that makes it so hard is you’re never sure you’re doing the right thing. If you could be sure—100% sure—you wouldn’t mind doing the hard things.

It’s just that you’re never sure.

As I have thought about this, here’s where I’ve landed. Perhaps it will be helpful to you.

When I was little, I trusted Mom to do what was best for me. Nothing was ever said, and we never really talked about it. I just knew that my mom was doing her best to do what was right and good for me.

I didn’t ask that she be perfect. I didn’t demand she do everything the way I would have done it. I just wanted her, to the best of her ability, to do what was best for me.

Now, my mother is old. My mother is sick. She can’t make the decisions she used to make. She can’t do the things she used to do. Although we’ve never talked about it, she, like me a long time ago, is simply trusting I’ll do the right thing.

She didn’t do everything perfectly. She didn’t even do everything right, but I turned out OK.

I’m not going to do everything perfectly. I’m not going to do everything right, but to the best of my ability, given the information I have, I’m going to do what’s best for her. She’s trusting me just like her I trusted her.

I think she’ll be alright with that.

I will be too.

 

What Would Jesus and You Talk About?

Sometimes, when we’re confronted by unexpected trouble or a deep evil in the world, we’ll say out loud, “When I get to heaven, I’m going to ask Jesus about that.” For some reason, most of us seem to think that we have to die to have a conversation with Jesus.

But the unique teaching of Christianity is our founder is alive. Yes, Jesus was crucified, but He was raised from the dead, and through His Spirit, He is present with His people.

He is present to lead.
He is present to comfort.
He is present to forgive.
He is present to listen.

And He is present to speak. He teaches. He corrects. He confronts. He explains. He’s there.

The radical teaching of Christianity is our Rabbi is alive, and He has promised that if we’ll stop long enough to give Him time in our lives, He’ll meet us and teach us to be His disciples.

So, what do you want to talk to Jesus about? Your dreams? Your hurts and disappointments? Your purpose and calling? Questions about evil? The mysteries of being? What would you talk about?

You don’t have to wait until you die to talk to Jesus. You can do it today. Right where you are. The next move is yours.

Uncle Mike’s Never Fail Bible Reading Plan

For over eleven years, I was the teaching pastor of Kairos, a Tuesday night worship service for young adults at Brentwood Baptist Church. A lot of the young adults who came to Kairos were coming to their first experience of church and worship. Some of my favorite stories of my ministry come from these Tuesday nights.

And some of those stories include helping these young adults get over their fear of reading the Bible. Most of them didn’t have a Bible. Their parents had given them one when they were children, but that Bible was either back at home or long since lost. The first challenge was getting them a Bible.

So, here’s the first step in my NEVER FAIL READING plan: GET A BIBLE. Get a real Bible. You know, a real Bible with real paper pages that’s held together by leather or cloth binding. I know, you can get any number of Bible software packages and Bible apps, and these are fine; however, they can be overwhelming and distracting to beginners.

Just get a Bible—any Bible you’re comfortable with. I know scholars and theologians will argue over the best and most accurate translations, but for most of us, any of the usual translations will be fine. If it starts with Genesis and ends with Revelation, you can’t go wrong. Find one you are comfortable with and let it be your Bible.

Now, find a place and a time that will work for you most every day. No one time is going to perfect for all seven days of the week, but find a time and place—the same time and same place—where you can show up, and your body knows you’re about to start studying the Bible. We are creatures of habit, and by establishing that this is the place and time you study the Bible, your mind will prepare for studying when you begin to walk to your favorite chair. (For me, it’s my favorite chair. Your favorite place may be someplace else.)

Just find whatever place and time works for you and start showing up. That’s all. Now, here’s the good news: you’ve done better than most people by simply showing up. Most people INTEND to study their Bibles, but they never get to the place of even starting. You have shown yourself to be exceptional simply by showing up.

Now, for the hard part. Read the Bible. I want to remind you that we’re not going to read the whole Bible today. In fact, we probably won’t read the whole Bible this week. We’re going to be reading the Bible in one way or another for the rest of our lives. We’ll eventually get through it, but we’re in no rush. Some things, like a fine meal, need to be savored. Reading the Bible isn’t so much an effort to push through the text as it is a meal to be savored and experienced.

So, where do you start? Start with gospel of Mark. Mark was the first gospel written, and it’s a good way to understand the ministry and teachings of Jesus. Almost half of Mark (chapters 11-16) is about the last week of His earthly ministry. When you finish reading Mark, read it again. We only comprehend about 20% of the text the first time we read it. Read Mark until you almost know it from memory.

Read slowly. Remember we’re learning a life-long practice, not sprinting to the end of the book. When you come across a story or a verse that makes you stop and think, then stop reading and write in your journal. I’m old school on journaling, so use a paper journal and a good pen to write out your thoughts. There is something about writing longhand that engages your brain in a different way than typing things out on your computer. And if you’re worried about not having anything to say, don’t worry. Something happens when your pen hits the paper. You’ll find yourself writing things you hadn’t thought about in years. There’s a reason keeping a journal has been a highly regarded spiritual discipline for generations. The soul has a way of revealing itself in writing.

Write until you’re done. That may be 30 minutes or it may be five minutes. I’m really not interested in how long you stay in your Bible reading time. I’m more concerned with a) building a daily habit of Bible study and b) getting the Word off the pages of the Bible and into your head.

Here’s the thing about studying the Bible. Once you read the passage or story a couple of times, it stays with you. You’ll find yourself thinking about the passage while you wait on an elevator or while you’re stuck in traffic. You’ll find yourself retelling the passage to your friends during a casual conversation. In short, the Bible will become part of your life.

And that’s the whole point.

When you finish with Mark, read Matthew and Luke. Read them the same way—slowly. Then, read John. The reason you read John last is because he’s the poet of the group. He is concerned with showing what everything means. He doesn’t really care about history, so to fit his purpose or to show some important insight, he’ll purposely tell things out of order. For instance, in Matthew, Mark, and Luke Jesus cleansed the Temple on the first day of Holy Week. In John, it’s one of the first things Jesus does.

Why? Because, for John, the whole point of Jesus coming was to break down the barriers that keep us from God. John seems to be telling us that if we want to know anything about Jesus, then we need to view the entire ministry of Jesus through the lens of the Temple cleansing.

Don’t get hung up on how much you read or how fast you read. Focus on reading deeply. Christ has promised when we open His word, He’ll meet us in the pages of Scripture. How awesome to know when we open the Bible, we open the Bible in the presence of its Author. The conversations that follow promise to be life changing.

Every Day Judgment

When I was growing up, we were sure Jesus was coming back just any day. We poured over Revelation in our churches looking for signs of His return. We used calculations and sometimes even bizarre mathematic calculations to try to find out who might be the dreaded Antichrist. You’d be surprised how many people had names whose letters, when swapped out for numbers, added up to—you guessed it—666.

“You’d better be ready,” our preachers warned us, “Jesus is coming back to judge the world.” As you can imagine, that kind of anticipation exhausted our imaginations, and we went back to talking about how Jesus can help you live in the moment.

Then, I found out something. Jesus comes every day. His presence may not be announced with blaring trumpets or the splitting of the skies, but He comes just the same.

He may come and bring peace and reassurance during a tough moment of prayer.

He may come and invite me to join Him in loving a broken, confused, and lost friend.

He may come confronting me about a deeply held private sin. You know the ones. “They aren’t hurting anyone but me…” “No one knows this but me…” You know, those last private sins we hold onto…like the Oreos stuffed back in the cupboard behind everything else.

Jesus may want to talk about why I’m so slow being obedient in a particular area of my life.

I guess there are lots of reasons that would prompt Jesus to be near His children, not the least of which is we’re lonely a lot of the time. There’s something about our world that makes us feel all by ourselves even when we’re in a crowd.

Here’s a few things I’ve learned about Jesus’ coming:

  1. Learn to expect His presence. Jesus promised He wouldn’t leave us alone, and that means Jesus is close even when we can’t see Him. Why can’t we see Him? There are a lot of reasons. We get distracted. We get impatient and then give up. The biggest reason is that we haven’t trained our eyes to look for Him. Our eyes are really good at seeing what we tell them to see. Most of us have never told our eyes to look for Jesus.
  2. Learn not to be afraid of His presence. I know that sounds odd, but a lot of us are afraid of Jesus. We’re scared Jesus is going to punish us for our latest failure or condemn us for being the losers we are, but nothing could be further from the truth. His unfailing love drives Jesus to us. Even His judgment is spoken in mercy. Whenever He confronts us, it’s for our own good—for our own lives. Grace is the reason He’s coming.
  3. Learn to savor the moment. Most of us live too fast. We’re moving from this task to that one, from this meeting to that one, and when Jesus does show up, we don’t have any space or time for Him. Learn to slow down when Jesus is near. There’s a reason He’s close. Be sure you don’t miss it.

There are a hundred more things I could write, but you get the picture. Yes, one day the trumpet will sound, and skies will split open, and Christ will return in triumph. Until then, He comes quietly, but He comes. Be ready when He does.