The 900-Pound Gorilla

I know I am not a family therapist or a psychologist, but I do know this—until you make peace with your dad, you’re stuck.

You will have trouble dealing with authority.
You will have trouble with issues of self worth and confidence.
And you will constantly wonder if you are good enough to be loved by anyone, not to mention the incipient damage the unfocused anger can do in your life.

Let me begin by saying most dads, for all of their failures, did the best they could.  Sometimes we forget that our dads had dads; they were once little boys too, and sometimes, they were wounded too.

It’s important to realize, some of us, that although our dads may not have given us what we think we might have needed or wanted, most likely they loved us the best way they knew how.  And if you can know that, it’s okay.

But you others, you who had fathers who were either absent, addicted or just mean.  What do you do?

First, you want to forgive.  Remember, forgiveness is releasing the other person from the expectation they can fix what they did.  Once the pain is inflicted, it is ours to deal with. Healing can only come from Christ.

Second, you accept.  Accept doesn’t mean that you “like,” but that you understand the reality of your dad and your relationship with him.

Now, reconciliation isn’t always possible.  Remember Paul said, “As much as it is up to us, live in peace with all men.” (Romans 12:18) Sometimes, it’s not up to us.  That’s okay, but it’s important just to note that to yourself.

Once you have done that, you can begin to move on.

It may not be easy, but it will be possible.

Until you deal with this 900-pound gorilla in the room, you will be constantly stuck in trying to straighten out what you think went wrong in the past.  You can’t change the past, but you can create a new future.

The hope of the resurrection gives us the power to do new things from the worst situations.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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One thought on “The 900-Pound Gorilla

  1. I think you are a God appointed therapist. God can heal, fix,open,close,begin and end anything He wants and He does use Men like you to carry out these messages. As long as you are always carrying out His Message you can do anything for Him. One of my favorite verses of all time is for every fathers son or daughter to know that no matter what has ever happened between you and your Father. Psalms 103 vs 13 says: As a Father has compassion on his children so the lord has compassion on those who fear him(or love him) God will love you till eternity and God wants us to know every Father Loves you unconditionally no matter what has happened because he knows you really love your Father. A lie detectors test was given to a large number of men applying for a Truck driving job and they were all asked the question do you believe their is a God. Many answered yes and many answered no. Every man that answered no failed the test. It is every mans God given nature they Love you because there is a God and His Name is Jesus.

    Hope you and your wife had a wonderful Cruise.