Whenever a couple comes to me and asks me to officiate their wedding service, I’ll ask them the same question. “Why do you want to get married?” Inevitably, I’ll get some version of the same answer. “We need each other,” they will say.
Really? Two wounded people do not make a happy marriage. That makes a hospital. Whenever we expect another person to make us anything the relationship becomes co-dependant, even neurotic. Another person can’t make you anything. They simply don’t have that power.
Do we need the other to be happy? No. Another person can’t make you happy.
Do we need the other to be whole? No. Another person can’t make you whole.
When you have your Yes in Christ… when you know who you are in Him… you are liberated from needing another person to bring anything to your life. You are free to be you. You are free to let the other person be who he or she is. We live out of the overflow of who Christ is in our lives, and that allows us to love the people around us without expecting or needing anything back.
Even your spouse?
Yep. Even your spouse.
A few years ago, Jeannie (my wife) and I were talking about this very point. We agreed that, in all honesty, we didn’t need each other. If something happened (God forbid!), the other wouldn’t die. We may want to, but we wouldn’t.
And this is the cool part—while we said we may not need each other, we also decided we really WANT each other. Trust me, it’s a lot more fun to be wanted.
Knowing our Yes in Christ means we find all we need in Him. That liberates us from the tyranny of needing someone else. We are free to want each other… and I as said, that’s a lot more fun.