My wife and I were blessed with twin sons almost forty years ago. Both are grown now with families of their own and we’re very proud of both of them. Even now, they look very much alike. Don’t let their looks fool you. They are vastly different young men and of course, they were vastly different children.
They used to demand we treat them the same. If one got a cookie, the other demanded a cookie. They reasoned, that since they looked the same, they should be treated the same. I would tell them, “I can’t do that. You’re not the same people. You’re very different and unique. What works for one won’t always work for the other. You’re asking me to be a lazy father and I won’t do that.”
One of them was born old. Have you ever known a child like this? From the beginning, he seemed to know who he was and what he was going to be doing. He always had a plan. We didn’t so much raise him as much as we checked in with him and his plan.
The other was happy-go-lucky. His theory was “it’ll come back around and when it does, I’ll be sitting right here.” He loves people and has all kinds of friends. He can walk into a room full of strangers and walk out with a room full of life long friends. It’s the most uncanny thing I’ve ever seen.
One, when punished, suffered like a political prisoner. The other, punishment crushed him. You had to be very careful when you punished them. With one you had to sit down and explain exactly what behavior brought the punishment and how the misbehavior and punishment were aligned. If not, he’d argue the punishment was unjust and he’d been wronged and thus, he was the victim. I can’t tell you how many times he turned the tables on me.
The other you had to sit down and explain that yes, he was being punished, but we still loved him very much. The after care of the punishment sometimes took longer than the punishment. For him, punishment meant he wasn’t loved. Like I said, they were two very different people.
One size doesn’t fit all. Never has.
One of the things you discover as you grow up is there are no two things that are just alike. There are no two snowflakes that are just alike. There are no two people – even twins – that are just alike. If you do find something that is an exact copy, it’s usually fake. Our God seems to take creation very seriously and He never repeats the same expression of His creativity twice in the same way.
It’s the same with churches. There are no two churches that are exactly alike. You can’t use a box formula to lead a church to its kingdom destiny. Most church leaders find a successful model and think they can reproduce that model anywhere else. They can’t. What we usually find out is there is a particular quality to that congregational context that made that unique model work. Try that same model anywhere else and it fails. Nashville seems to have a new church of the month club. They’ll announce their start up with an explosive flair and for a few months, they are all the buzz and then, nothing.
Why? Because they didn’t take into account the unique nature of the greater Nashville area. How’s it different? For one thing, the church better have excellent music. Everybody in Nashville (except me) plays, writes, or sings. When someone leads worship, they have to be very talented and deeply faithful. Pretenders are soon spotted and dismissed. Have you ever had someone leave your worship service because they didn’t like the way the music was being mixed? I have. Welcome to Nashville.
Each church, like each child, will have its own dreams and gifts, struggles and joys. There will be a collective memory in the church from the moments God showed up in the congregation. A wise pastor will hear the testimonies of those moments, the long sighs of their griefs and from their stories, the pastor will give word to the unifying themes of these moments. When this happens, the people will recognize themselves in vision that has been called out from them.
There is no shortcut. There’s no formula to this. The pastor listens until they recognize the Spirit’s current and can give word to what the Lord is doing in and through His people. Pastors don’t bring vision. They call it out.
One of the interesting things about Jesus and His followers is He never tells them what they can be. He never says, “One day you will be…” He says, “You are.” To Simon, He says, “You are the rock.” In the sermon on the mount, He says, “You are salt and light.” In the same way, the faithful pastor tells the congregation, “You are.”
And with every church, as with every child, that moment is always different. Always has been. Always will be. John isn’t Peter. Peter isn’t John. Ephesus isn’t Corinth. Corinth isn’t Ephesus. Your church isn’t any other church and any other church wouldn’t work where you are.
One size doesn’t fit all. Never has. Our God never tires of bringing new life to new things.
