When we are young, we love to be frightened. Parents and grandparents hide around the corner, jump out and say, “Boo!” and we squeal with a delightful shiver. We ride rollercoasters and watch horror movies when we know we’re going to be scared by what we experience, but we go anyway. That was such a great ride, we’ll say later, I thought we were going to die. We’ll try to talk our friends into going back to see the same movie again and again, because, as we explain, they won’t be able to sleep for a week after they see this movie.
And we say this like it’s a good thing.
But life has a way of scaring you like nothing else. We find ourselves in situations where we’re so afraid our blood runs cold. We end up watching the blips on a heart monitor praying for one more upward streak of light. The doctor tells us the next 24 hours will tell us what we’re up against. The plant closes. Businesses fail and marriages snap. We find ourselves at that moment that we always thought would kill us. You know, the “if this ever happens, I’ll die” moment.
Then, it happens, and we don’t die. Somehow, we keep breathing. Somehow, we get through it. And when we do, we’re never the same.
Let’s face it. Nothing brings clarity like a near-death experience.
Several years ago, I was diagnosed with a blood clot. In the follow-up visit with my pulmonologist, he showed me my CT scan and pointed to my bronchial artery. He told me that I had clots in both sides of that artery, but for some reason, they hadn’t stuck. They just kept moving. If they had stuck and blocked the bronchial artery in what is called a saddle embolism, I would have died in 30 seconds. I may not have all of the details right. I was distracted by the new realization that I could have died. But I’m close.
Anyway, I can’t tell you how I felt when I left the doctor’s office. To say I was shaken would be an understatement. I heard all about how short life can be, about how no one is promised tomorrow. I know that. I’ve preached those sermons. Now, it was more than a sermon. It was my reality.
Something happens when you face your own mortality. For one thing, you instantly regret every wasted second. Every game of Solitaire on the computer, every rerun on television, every mindless game or beautiful afternoon wasted doing nothing — these moments are now known for what they are — precious moments of life we’ll never get back. We don’t waste time. We waste life.
Then, I noticed a second thing. I was, I am, a lot more comfortable saying “no.” I’m saying no to a lot of things. In fact, I’m saying no to most everything these days. I’m not on any boards or committees. I don’t like meetings. Why would I volunteer for more? There are a lot of good things to be involved in, but are they the best? I’m looking only for those best moments in life. I want to be with my wife. I want to be with my sons and their families — especially my grandchildren. I want to lead Brentwood Baptist Church well, and I want to hang with a few friends who have proven to be friends for life.
That’s a full life.
The old saying is true. When our time comes, we’ll regret the things we didn’t do rather than what we did. So, what matters to you? I mean, really matters? Most of the time, we can name what matters on the fingers of one hand. In truth, not that many things in life are important.
Say yes to those things and no to everything else. Focus the energy of your life on what brings you joy and fulfillment. Sure, some people will be mad. So what? The alternative is being mad at yourself for being trapped into something you didn’t want to do and missing out on what you wanted to do. That’s a trade I’m no longer willing to make.
Do you know what the most often spoken command in the Bible is? Don’t be afraid. It’s what God says to His people more than anything else. God doesn’t want us to live in fear. He’s taken care of our past. Our future is finished in Him, and our present? Well, in His grace and power, we can figure that out. Do what matters and matters most. Say no to everything else.
Live your life without regrets or apologies. Don’t let fear rob you of one precious moment. That kind of life is possible only when you’re not afraid anymore.
And we’re not.
