I know a lot of guys who are passionate about their lives. They live with energy and focus that drives them, not only to accomplish their goals, but accomplish them at levels most people only dream about.
They all share one common trait: a passion over the details of their quest. If you’re talking to a golfer, she can tell you about the compression rate of the golf ball and the way different types of grass affect a putt.
A fisherman can talk to you about the color of the water and how that determines the color of the bait you will use. They know what kind of food the fish will be looking for at different times of the year and how deep the fish will be according to the temperature.
Talk to a gym rat and they will talk to you about how many grams of protein they need every day and how different exercises increase their gains.
Sometimes, you wonder if you’re talking about hobbies or taking a physics class.
But here’s something I’ve noticed. Husbands and wives will tell me they are passionate about their marriages, but when I press them, it becomes very clear they don’t know any details of their spouse. They haven’t studied their spouses. They haven’t asked questions to find out what makes things work.
They don’t know the simplest and most obvious details.
For instance, few husbands know their wives clothing sizes. They don’t know the colors that look good on their wives. (Hint: it has to do with their hair color and skin tone).
Few wives know their husband’s story. Not where he was born or who his parents were, but the stories of the failures and successes that made him the man he is today.
Few spouses know the goals of the other. They have never talked about dreams, hopes, fears, and joys that make life glorious.
No serious fisherman would ever push a boat out into the lake without knowing the details.
No golfer would start a round of golf without knowing the details.
They are passionate about their sport. They thrive on details.
So, why is it that so many of us don’t have the details about our marriage? Could it be we’re not as passionate as we claim about our marriages?
If you’re passionate about something, you’ll show it in the details, and if your passionate about your marriage, you’ll know the details that make it work.