Relax, We’ve Been Here Before

Since the ruling of the Supreme Court on same-sex marriage, my email inbox has been filled with Chicken Little prophecies foretelling the death of the church in America. According to these Debbie Downers, the federal government will systematically begin to shut down every institution and organization that doesn’t support the cultural agenda. Law suits will follow law suits and the church will be forced to close its doors.

Relax, We’ve Been Here Before

All of this, and more, may come true—except for that last part. The church in America won’t close up. We won’t be shut down. We may change. We may adapt, but we won’t close. God will always find a way for His people. I’m old enough to remember when China closed the “Bamboo Curtain” and no missionaries or Christian literature were allowed in China. We thought Christianity had been eradicated in China, but when the country opened itself to the world we found, to our utter amazement, millions of Christians in China.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do think that part of what’s going on is God is judging His church in North America. For too long, we’ve traded away our gospel birthright for the porridge of secular influence. We’ve become involved in secular politics to the point that the church is now viewed as just another political action committee. We’ve tried to become engaged in the entertainment world to the point that we’re just another demographic group to target through marketing.

Like the church at Laodicea, Christ is calling us back to our first love—Him and Him alone. He’s calling us back to the centrality of our mission—the proclamation of the good news of His gospel. We’ll find new energy and new power when we focus again on the gospel of Jesus Christ.

How will we do this? The same way the church has always done it. We’ll focus on the places and people no one wants. The medieval church was the only institution that responded to plague victims and their families. Mother Theresa reached out to the dying lepers of India. Again, we’ll find those people and places no one is paying attention to and start serving there. It’s what the church has always done when the church has been at her best.

And we’ll do it wherever we can. We’ll share the love of Christ in our homes, in neighborhood coffee shops, out under trees—wherever two or three will gather together. The church has never been tied to buildings or methods. We’ve been free to adapt our methods as needed to accomplish our kingdom message.

Yeah, I know it’s a different kind of day for the church in America. But then again, it’s not that different at all. We’ve been here before. The church has overcome worse. In fact, the church of Jesus Christ seems to thrive best in times like these.

So, trust Christ. Trust the message. Love your neighbors and spread the Word. Be encouraged. Our world is asking questions for which Jesus is the only answer.

No One Can Live On a Pedestal

Whenever people ask me what I want to be called, I usually answer, “Mike is fine.” For some reason, a lot of people think I should go by more formal titles such as Dr. Glenn, Reverend Glenn, or Pastor Glenn. I have always been uncomfortable with titles. They put too many barriers between me and other people. Besides, Jesus was blunt on this one. We are to call no man father or teacher, for we have one Father and one Teacher.

No One Can Live On a Pedestal

We can be friends to each other. We can be brothers and sisters to each other, but we cannot be Jesus to each other. That role has been taken.

And we can’t be Jesus to our spouses either. Often, when you come from a broken place, the person you fall in love with can do no wrong. Your spouse is the best person in the whole world. They are way beyond anyone you ever expected to fall in love with, or even more miraculous, to have fall in love with you. They are perfect…everything they say…everything they do…

You worship the ground they walk on. You have placed them high on a pedestal.

And that’s a problem.

Your spouse can’t be Jesus to you. Your husband or wife can only be who they are. You can only be who you are. Trying to constantly live up to someone else’s unreasonable expectations quickly leads to defeat and despair. You’re not being fair to your spouse by putting this kind of pressure on them. Eventually they will stumble, and they will end up feeling like a failure.

And you can’t be Jesus to them. While it’s a rush to your ego to be put on that pedestal, the landing is brutally painful when you fall off (and you will). Besides, your husband or wife doesn’t need you to be everything to them. Becoming hyper-focused on you keeps them from growing, and it smothers you in the process.

The old preachers had a point. Eve wasn’t created from Adam’s head that she should rule over him or from his foot that he should stand on her. She was created from his side that she should stand with him.
That’s the picture we want, isn’t it? The two of you, side by side, walking wherever life may take you—content to be who you are, with and for each other

Borrowed Confidence

When you get married, you find out a lot of things no one told you about—and most of them are good.


Here’s one you may not have thought about before. When you get married, you find yourself more creative, and yes, even braver. That’s because you’ll engage the day with the confidence of two people, not just one.

There will be times when you’ll lose all of your confidence as you face a challenge. You’ll look up and think, “This mountain is too high to climb. I just can’t make it.” Then, in the back of your mind, you’ll hear your wife or husband saying, “Go ahead. Try. I believe you can.”

So, when you have no confidence of your own but borrow the confidence your spouse has in you, you try one more time. And surprise! That one last try will bring success. In fact, you’ll be left wondering how many other things you could have done if you hadn’t given up so early.

Life is hard, and it seems the challenges get tougher every day. We are so afraid of failing that we never actually try. Ironic, isn’t it? Our fear of failure actually guarantees failure. But when our spouses believe in us, we’ll find confidence we’ve never had to keep trying. And when we keep trying, we’ll find more and more success.

So what does this mean?

1. Tell your spouse you believe in them. Tell them this a lot. The world beats them up every day, and whatever confidence they had in the morning has leaked out by the time they get home.

2. Give them concrete examples of their success or qualities. Say something like, “I believe you can do this because of how you did that.”

3. Remind them that failure is rarely fatal.

4. And lastly, as Jeannie once told me, “What’s the worst thing that could happen? You try and fail. Then, you come home to me, and I’ll still love you. Now, that’s not so bad, is it?”

No, it’s not. That’s not bad at all.